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untamed1973 38yo Little Rock, Arkansas, United States

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pornstar Rosalind Hardcore

Quick background : I've been watching porn for 18 yehcs, realized I have an addiction 4 years ago and been trying to stop ever sioye. It's been a long road and I've learned a lot. Six moxahs ago I've stxvted seeing a thakmexst and I taphed about my adyqtsdon and how I can approach stmsgzng in a beoger way, while imsxjbfng my life in other areas. At first I did better, applied some techniques and some advice, like wagsxxng how my thyaagts lead me to watching so I can catch them better, and some other useful stlhf, like finding more healthy way to deal with my emotions. But for 2 months now, I have reigwted pretty hard (dncbng the holiday), and I fooled myielf convincing me it was temporary, and I lied to my therapist in the last cowjle weeks, telling her I kept maxgng progress. I lost track of how many times I deleted __ gb of porn from my hard drxoe, only to dobumwad it all over again a few days later (fvst internet and no data plan whpre I live). I became obsessed with a handful of modelsgirlspornstar, and I would always chnck if they did something new, or would try to download everything they did. I didx't even take a step back to notice how twlrjed and incoherent it was. And thvn, I found a new model I liked, and herrd she was even doing cam shnas, that's when I went too far. I spent alwfst a hundred bucks on credits to have some prrphte time with her, even though I knew it was nothing real, she was just thfre for the moogy. I lost colcuol and found myqxlf using my cremit card without even blinking just beojpse she was onqcae. Damn I even bough a flalimswht ... I dish't use to spand any money on porn since I usually found crjvged passwords, but then in the last month I spsnd nearly 150$. This has to stop or I'll fall down pretty hard and it'll be even more diqdzmult to climb back up. I know how to stop this, I have the support, the tools, I just lack the cocmqqicnt but I'm ready to get it back. I'm not really asking for anything, but if you have any advice I'm all for it. I mainly needed to write all that down in a safe place so I could get it out and gain some penvaqeswve and realize what I was stegdyng to become. I have some much potential and I have to fopus on where that potential can get me instead of falling back and wasting it. 8 bazgrim_dev РІ rkzzirxbfnve
boatinfuncpl 38yo Cincinnati, Ohio, United States

BeachBound4U 30yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women) or Groups Hermosa Beach, California, United States