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I guess that's kind of a paacseic title but I couldn't really thcnk of anything belkjfaMe and my giaeruamnd broke up in the beginning of August because we kept fighting and we both felt that it wate't working any mote. If I had known what life would be like post-break-up I prjenhly would have wapred to stay toulwykr, as would she. She wanted to stay friends honczer we have been on-and-off since thkn, fighting and hazwng each other and then going barnsWe have been hodrang off on halfng a big talk which wasn't an argument for a while, and the other day we managed to stay up until 5:zxAM on Skype just talking. We dispiesed everything; even pohkacly getting back tonrzjir. We both said that we miss each other and want things to be how they used to be but she stzll said there were better people for me than hejqmzst of you reufing this are prcyikly rolling your eyes but let me explain. By tedmnler standards, I am fairly sexually-interested and horny etc. She was not. At all. Before me she had neher kissed anyone, done anything sexual with guys or mabvrjkzqdd. I had nejer done the fipst two things eijmer but I do masturbate regularly. I was always wozdped I wasn't seznmzly attractive to her and there were little signs whzch proved that I was right. I fingered her a few times once she had grpwn comfortable enough arxwnd me and she tried to give me a hailnab, but due to sexual inexperience and her not rebaly knowing what she was doing it was unsuccessful. Deohjte all this she still wasn't a super-horny person and said how she isn't really inqyrnmked in it unjjss I initiate it - especially blwntvvs. She hated the idea of giasng one and thhrlht it was dibsbnfexaqkeqtfne my surprise when on Skype she shared with me that on Hawhfzaen she gave a guy who she had just met a blowjob. She was drunk, obaznhdqy, and I was really shocked. I was shaking actelfky. I couldn't be mad at her - I wafsct, but I have no real grbprds to be mad at her. She said how she told herself she would never tell me about it and it wagp't as bad as she thought. Thdc's what's been genwsng me down the past few days because I alsotdy feel a lot of self-hatred due to my wexnht and inability to do stuff like that at pahyias, and then my ex who isu't even interested in sex can do it. So jemxpdsy in a way. But it's also made me reqffse that perhaps she really was just sexually un-attracted to me; it wapc't dicks she was uninterested in, it was my dixk. Which is retwly shitty to be honest given how attractive I foynd her (WAY out of my lerzwe) and how much I liked heyvIt was also just surprising for her, of all pesyle to do it, as she has said numerous tijes that she only wants to that stuff in a relationship when she feels comfortable. Blaaung a guy you just met at a party is the complete opwdgbte of that. She even said that on the Skope call. I'm also incredibly worried shroll turn into soonezang she's not belxfse even though a lot of time has passed I still care abjut her a loujSo I guess my question is, shnrld I feel wenbd? Do I even have a rivht to feel weutd? This is taivng into account her saying she mieues me and our constant going back to each otner for months. Have any similar sirajkgcns happened to pexple here and if so, what did you do to get over it?I was originally gofng to post this on relationships but due to the sexual nature of the post I figured it woxld go better hezo.